Last night in Sweden-A Nordic five fanfiction
by Wobleschka
Summary: Based upon a news article where Donald Trump were making stuff up. Read it and understand. May contain bad language!


" _ **Yesterday in Sweden" -A Nordic 5 saga.**_

 _ **Note:** This is a story, partly based on reality but with a great twist! I do not own Hetalia or the characters in this story. _

**04:30 -The Kingdom of Sweden.**

 _It seemed to be a living hell for Mister Sweden to fall asleep that night. First of all, his brothers Mister Denmark and Mister Norway had been making fun of him for his refugees and now he had awoken with a jerk an hour ago, with some unpleasant feeling, filling his whole body. Not that this hasn't been the case all through the year of 2016, but this was something different as if something was coming for him, and he did certainly not like it! He didn't feel like waking Mister Finland up just for some mares in his body though so it all ended with him getting out of bed and walking into the living room where he now sat in front of his TV, frowning heavily. What kind of fool is this new president Mister America has got for himself, what the helvete was he thinking?! He takes a sip of his coffee before almost spraying the whole room with the fluid coming from his mouth!_

 _The reason for this reaction from the otherwise so modest and quiet man is what that very "president" is saying on the TV right there:_

 _The TV shows a full-screen picture of Mister Donald Trump saying "We got to keep our country safe, you look what's happening last night in Sweden. SWEDEN!? Who would believe this!?"_

" _Men vad FAAN!" Mister Sweden exclaims before turning the TV off. Who was Trump to talk about things he didn't even have the slightest clue about? He clings his fist around the remote, causing the plastic to crack a little before he puts it down on the table again. Maybe the best thing to do is to go back to sleep before he turns into Mister Germany!_

 _He throws his coffee mug into the dishwater before returning to bed, muttering Swedish bad words all the way back to bed. After a while of tossing and turning, the furious and heavily confused Swede goes back to sleep._

 **06:00 -The kingdom of Sweden**

 _After barely a couple of hours of proper sleep, Mister Sweden wakes up from the telephone ringing. Drowsily, he lifts the receiver and mumbles "Yeees!" In a very tired tone! From the other end of the phone, he hears a chuckling laughter. "Ahahahahaha! Good morning my dear Oxenstierna, I hope I didn't wake you up or something! How are you DOING, I heard something TERRIBLE had happened... According to that American donut that is.."Mister Sweden cringes as he hears who it is. "Arthur Kirkland.." he mutters as an answer. "Well, of course, I saw the news this morning and I just had to ring you and say welcome to the club, dear!" Mister Britain replies with a chuckle. Mister Sweden chooses not to answer him and puts the receiver under Mister Finland's nose and he is asleep, snoring. Then Mister Sweden chooses to get up, it's no use trying to fall asleep again after all this._

 **08:30 -The kingdom of Norway**

 _Mister Norway sits outside his hut in the Norwegian Mountains, eating his breakfast as he sees a bright blue Volvo V70 skid into the front yard. The car skids around a bit more at the graveled ground before stopping in a big cloud of dust and dirt. The front door opens and out comes Mister Sweden, mad as a bear. He starts walking towards Mister Norway who looks like a living question mark. "What's going on? I don't think I've seen you this mad since I destroyed Storlien with that garbage bomb I made with the help of Mister Iceland.."Mister Sweden just snorts and stops in front of his brother. "Don't even ask!" he almost yells at him. The Norwegian shrugs and lifts his coffee cup to his mouth. "I see... It's that "Last night in Sweden"-Tull isn't it?" Mister Sweden sits down opposite to his brother and nods. "And you know how my so-called "Sweden-Friends" are... They are going to make me look like a fool again, a damned kålrot!" Mister Norway nods and puts his cup down again. "I do know them, Foolish wood-hats, I should know enough to write a book about those." He turns silent for a minute before piercing his deep blue eyes into Mister Sweden's Sky blue ones. "And, Mister Berwald Oxenstierna. I should know more than perfectly well..." He points at him as to emphasize. "..who YOU are, big brother!" Mister Sweden turns his head away, he doesn't want to show the Norwegian how red his cheeks had turned from what he just said to him. "Yes, I guess you could write a book or three about me as well... My dearest little brother."_

 **10:00 -The United States of America**

 _Mister America wanders two and fro over the floor in his Cowboyhouse as he snatches stuff he finds annoying out of the way. "KNUCKLEHEADS, MORONS, ROYAL FUCKING IDIOTS!" He yells as he smashes things against the floor and walls. Mister Canada and Miss Mexico follow him with their eyes. Mister Canada Raises his index finger and points at Mister America who stands with his hands resting on his kneecaps, panting. "Well I told you this would happen, bro' but since when did you listen to common sense? You just said "oh nonono your Exchadderaitin asc juicall" Well, big surprise Al! I was right, AGAIN!"The Canadian notes as he sees his American brother go bananas on a chair with a big ax."Well, yeah, but how the hell was I supposed to find out that all by my..."_

 _He begins, but gets interrupted by Miss Mexico. "True, true! It's not much you can find out all by yourself Mister hero!" Mister America just snorts and bangs the ax into the table. "Aaah Shut up, both of yeh! Since when did Y'all know shit anyway!" he snorts and walks straight towards the door and faces Mister Canada's Polarbear Kumajirô. "Yeah, you shut up as well!" he adds and walks out the door._

 **10:50 -The kingdom of Denmark**

 _Mister Denmark has gotten himself some Lunch company by Mister Iceland and Mister Finland and they are now sitting at a café in Copenhagen, eating some lunch. Mister Finland looks more than worried, something the Danish reacts to almost immediately! "What's up Finland, you look so worried... Is it something I've done?" Mister Finland looks down at his plate for a long time before answering the Danish. "I'm worried about Mister Oxenstierna..." He Mumbles. Mister Denmark leans forward with a confused expression on his face. "He hasn't tried baking bread again, has he?" Mister Finland Smiles a bit at Mister Denmark's question. Mister Sweden wasn't that good at baking, really! But the Finn soon loses his smile again. "No, and if he has, that's not the reason anyway!" Mister Iceland now puts the book he is about to read down and Snorts "Well speak out of your beard, Finland!" The Dane bumps his elbow into the Icelandic's ribs, causing him to jump from his chair for a shortie. "Tino doesn't even HAVE a beard," he says frowning. The Icelandic sighs. Why does he have to be surrounded by idiots!?"_

" _Okay, but what has he done? Claimed to be Equal or something? Oh no!" He leans towards Mister Finland before adding "He hasn't said he can READ now again, has he?" Mister Finland shakes his head and lets out a deep sigh. "I believe he needs to cheer up, he has been weird ever since this morning when he took his car and raced away to Lukas. It was almost as if someone had made a fool out o him ag..." All three countries widen their eyes and look at each other. " LAST NIGHT IN SWEDEN!" they all yell as one. "Men før helvedde! Of course, it was that!"The Danish exclaims and takes his cellphone out of his pocket. "What are you now up to?" The Icelandic asks as the Danish swipes his finger through his contact list and grunts quietly to himself "That Jankee should know more about this, let's confront him!" With that said, the Danish calls the American up._

 **10:35 -The United States of America**

 _Sullenly, Mister America picks the pieces of his broken furniture up from the floor and throws them into a barrel while glaring at Mister Canada and Miss Mexico. "Not a word, okay!?" He snaps at them and is just about to give them one of his famous long explanations when a Banjo melody interrupts him from his back pocket. "Oh, he hasn't managed to smash that one yet!" Mister Canada grins. Mister America gives him a grimace as an answer and picks the phone up. "Yes hello!" He answers, clearly irritated. "Oh howdy Jankee! Are you busy?" America rolls his eyes and walks outside to talk untroubled."Nah not really. Which one of the Viking dudes is it I'm talking t.." The American doesn't get any longer before getting interrupted by Mister Denmark's angry voice: "What the HELVEDDE is your Donald Trump up to!?" Mister America bites his lip. The Danish surely was angered, which can only mean one thing, Trump has done it again! "Well, Mattias dude! Why can't you just question the existance of the Lord god himself instead, because to that question I do have an answer, Yes God exists but don't tell Mister Sweden about it, you know how angry he gets if people start talking to him about that." He stops as he hears how the Danish gets more irritated. "Well, it has a lot to do with that very "Mister Sweden" actually! I hope you can explain to me what he meant with "Last night in Sweden" because as usual, I don't understand a living heck. Buuuuut... I'm Danish, maybe it's that again, Danish people don't understand much." The Danish mutters, clearly sarcastic. America fumbles with the collar of his jacket. He didn't really have a good answer to that one. Trump does what he wants, just like New Mexico did when she was a kid. The only difference was that she grew up and got at least a grain of common sense. After a short while, he lets a deep sigh out. "Well you may excuse the old fucker, he has several mental issues, but hey! What the fuck am I supposed to do? My folks are dumbasses to choose a dumbass to become president, and tell me, Dane! What am I gonna do? I'll have to refurbish my damn house just because of that motherfucker!" Mister America can hear the Dane laugh from the other side and mutters a short "Fuck..." before hanging up and returning inside._

 **11:00 -The Kingdom of Sweden**

 _The door swings open and in storms Mister Sweden with a newspaper clung to his hand. He smacks the paper into the top of the kitchen table before sitting down by it. "That sneaky old RAT!" he mutters in anger and rests his forehead in his hands. "how the heck can one become so embarrassing?" He mutters multiple times before getting interrupted by a Skype signal from the living room. He stands up and walks into the room to answer. As he picks the phone up he meets Mister Denmark's smiling face and mumbles "Yes, what do you want, Dane-bastard?" The Danish gives the Swede a malicious smile as an answer. "I heard about mister Trump's worldwide mistake just recently. I understand that you must be suffering from huge pains nowadays?" Mister Sweden can't help but laugh a little at the Dane's weird sense of humor and replies: "Hehe, Well well, the only thing that happened last night over here was the Mello and some people actually sees that one as a form of terror, but aside from that, it has been awfully calm over here, if my so-called "Sweden friends" hasn't managed to make a total fool out of me again. That would certainly not surprise me. !" The Danish laughs out loud. "Yeah, you don't need to do anything I do, brother, I do a lot of stupid stuff as well you see." The Swede Sighs. "Well, I Certainly don't do anything you do, not at all! As an example, I can talk and make myself understandable!" The Dane lets a sarcastic laugh out before returning to the subject. "You know what, Swede? The only one dumb enough to believe that one may be dumber than the one it came from, don't you think?"_

 _The Swede nods in agreement: "Mm.." Then he turns silent for a while before an evil smile spreads all over his face. "You know what, Dane? I've got an idea! Gather the others tomorrow and I will tell you what!" He hangs up and suddenly he can't hold it anymore. He bursts out into laughter for almost a minute before sighing. "You're so smart Mister Sweden! So damned smart!"_

The next day, 10:30 -Washington DC

 _The Trump Family sits in front of their big, super expensive TV Only to give Mister Trump yet another reason to rage-Tweet! The first thing he sees is a close up of a tall blonde man with glasses and a smile on his face. The blonde is accompanied by a tall, silver-blonde man who seems to be the host of the program. The host, apparently being Mister Norway takes the microphone and the cameraman focuses on his face. "I stand here in Stockholm with Mister Oxenstierna who was in a terrible Schock after hearing the news yesterday. It seems like the American president doesn't know what he is talking about. What are your thoughts, Mister?" Mister Norway passes the Microphone to the blonde man, apparently being Mister Sweden. He takes the microphone with a grin and clears his throat before starting to explain."It was last night the news hit us with the power of a fist, or rather an elephant's fart in the face, depending on whose side you're on. It seems like the American President have lost all the common sense he had left. But Sweden isn't known for being a grieving nation, especially not for something that did never happen. But never the less, we have to keep our country safe! Just take a look at what's happening in the US. I repeat, THE US! Who would have believed it!" He turns silent before looking straight into the camera again. All those who thought Sweden was in big danger were worried to bits, what does the US have to say about all this? Have they all gone nuts!?" He leaves the microphone to a frowning Mister Norway. "So you're saying that nothing did really happen that night?" Mister Sweden nods "Nothing crazier than the Mello, I promise you." He says, shrugging. Mister Norway smiles into the camera and turns to another tall blonde man standing beside Mister Sweden. "Mattias, I presume? You said that the topic "Last night in Sweden should really be changed into "last night in the US" Am I correct?" The tall blonde nods and gives Mister Norway a big smile. "Yes, I believe that's a more interesting topic!" Mister Norway smiles at Mister Sweden. "In total: How about taking some time making a good research and starting to take things more seriously. Believing "fake news" created just to make political points isn't really the right way to go!" He smiles at Mister Finland who is holding the camera and Mister Iceland who is holding the microphone. Mister Iceland tries his best not to facepalm during the filming but as the tape turns off, he can't keep himself from slapping his face multiple times while Mister Finland tries to calm him down. "Calm down Mister Iceland! This isn't your fault, nobody can help what this fake president insinuates. Maybe his mouth tells more about him than about those he is talking about, or what do you think Emil?" The Finn punches the Icelandic in his chest making him flinch a little and stop slapping his face. "What? Oh yes, well I should never complain about Mister Sweden being bad at reading, Mister Denmark being a stupid racist, Mister Norway being a twat or you being an alcoholic anymore, that's for sure! I mean Mr America has a president who doesn't even know about source criticism! Do you excuse me while I jump from the balcony or something?" The Icelandic marches out of the room with Mister Norway trying to stop him. "Help me out here, Dane! I can't do all this all by myself!"_

12:30 -The Kingdom of Norway

 _The Nordic five are having their lunch at Mister Norway's super expensive superbrag hut in the Mountains. Mister Iceland is wearing a headband after hitting his head into a wall too many times, Mister Finland has a huge bump in his head after trying to stop him, Mister Norway and Mister Denmark has one black eye each for the same reason. Mister Denmark is counting the Shrimps on his sandwich because he is bored, Mister Sweden and Mister Norway is watching him in astonishment. After some minutes, Mister Sweden opens his mouth: "You know, sometimes my ideas aren't that bad after all, and without you guys, it may not have worked! What do you think Lukas?" The Norwegian draws his gaze from the Shrimp counting Dane: "What? Oh yeah, that! Right. Yeah, I have to agree about that. Really clever!" The Swede sighs and turns to the Dane again. "And what are you doing more exactly?" The Dane flinches a bit as the Swede talks to him. "His Shrimp Sandwiches includes a lot more Shrimp than yours!" He laughs as the Swede slams his hand into the table, causing the flatware to jump from the bang. He turns to the Dane with a murdering look in his eyes. "Don't you DARE to insult my food you Dane-bastard!" The Swede rushes around the table and starts chasing Mister Denmark. Mister Norway looks at the others with a smile. "Seems like everything is back to normal again... The others nod in agreement and continue eating their lunch._


End file.
